666 : Thought for Mental Health Awareness Week

You know what? When this is all over and I get to stand in front of a real-life, in the flesh live band I will cry like a friggin baby. I’m emotional just thinking about it. Gigging is my hobby and my passion. In fact, it is more than that, it is my crutch and my salvation. It is my rock (n’roll), the antidote to rough days. It is something that I look forward and hungrily countdown to. Life’s ups and downs and frequent disappointments are made easier by the thought of forthcoming shows. Work crap is made more bearable by the thought that I have got some obscure Norwegian Black Metal act that evening.

But this is all on hold and my dance card is empty. Even the Autumn shows that I was feverishly hanging on to for comfort (Helloween! I had tickets for Helloween) are now beginning to fall by the wayside and it is looking increasing like there will be no more live music this year. This very thought affects my mental health, as I miss it so much. The idea that it might be a full twelve months till I next get to witness five people beat the living shit out of their instruments, makes me feel sad inside and just a little despondent. Since I first started gigging back in 1986 the longest I have gone without going to see a band was a month and that was when my youngest child was born and to be honest I was rather pre-occupied. The present vacuum feels never ending and soul-destroying. My point though is that this feeling is normal, not wrong or strange or alarming, just a normal common or garden human emotion.

Will Damnation festival 2020 be on for Stewart’s sake this year?

We are going through unprecedented times. This is something our minds were unprepared for. All of our norms have gone and instead we are left living in a world that feels both strikingly familiar and also utterly alien. The rituals and social constructions that help us navigate our lives have suddenly been ripped from us and we are left in the comfort of our own homes in what feels like a virtual hermetically sealed bubble. To feel nervous, anxious and a deep underlying sense of loss is actually normal. In fact, not feeling deeply affected by all this would actually be the un-normal state of being. The rug has well and truly been pulled from under our feet and that will affect how we feel.

So what do we do about it? It may seem counter-intuitive and a little glib, but accept it and try not to worry about it. When we bang or hurt a part of our body we know that it will hurt and in some cases bruise (I retracted a retractable ladder on my thumb and it is all blue now). But we leave it and let time and the wonder that is the human body do its business. The same is true here. Our mind’s have been bruised by this utter cluster-f*ck of a situation and we are all out of our personal comfort zones. But the brain is a miraculous thing and it will adapt. Lean back into these feelings, as they are normal.

Don’t give yourself a hard time for how you feel and get anxious about the anxiety. Look after yourself and be kind to yourself.  At the end of the day, only you can truly look after you. So whilst we may be in Bizarreville Central, still ensure that you do things that make yourself feel better. This is the time for guilty pleasures. It could be having a lie-in, making your favourite food, listening to music or chatting, virtually, with your friends. Personally, the fortnightly ROCKFLESH contributors quiz has become a highlight of my diary and with the lack of live Black Metal, something I look forward intensely.  Be kind to yourself and don’t give yourself a hard time. Because despite how you may feel, you are doing fucking marvellous.

Stewart works for Mind so (sort of) knows what he is talking about. If despite his soothing words you do still feel that you want support you can get it at www.mind.org.uk
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