And so, we descend into my final gig of the year and what a year it has been… And my life being one of extremes, I have gone from Wednesday night at WARGASM on my ownsome to being out tonight with a vast swathe of people from Primordial Radio’s #PRFam. Well, I might not be a fan of Christmas but what better way to spend the festive period than with your mates, watching live music. The place is full of Santa hats and Christmas jumpers and even I, the Grinch, put on my Millie Manders and the Shutup Christmas jumper. But I’m more enamoured by the access all areas pass I’ve been given at (that’s a first, though I did not use it to its maximum potential).

The place is already busy despite the early start but being a Saturday I guess people headed into town early and some people (not mentioning any names) have been drinking for a few hours before I join them! On stage with an obligatory Christmas tree are Solitary, a four-piece thrash metal band from Preston, who formed in 1994. They are not a band I am familiar with, but they leave a great impression tonight on myself and the others I am here with. Having been likened to Fear Factory, Pantera, and Machine Head they are on the heavier side of thrash metal and treat us to a riff-tastic (yes, I did just write that) set including a Christmas gift in the form of a new song ‘The Disappeared’ from their upcoming album, which will be album number 5, due to be released in 2024. They give their performance their all and are sweating profusely by the end, they thank our headliners and the crowd, who have merrily and gleefully chanted along with their fists in the air. They have a few dates lined up already for next year, so catch them if you can.

A brief intermission rolls by before I get myself to the front for the wonderful theatrics of Ward XVI. Not going to lie, they are why I am here, and I know they will put on a mesmerising monochrome performance. With only a 30-minute set they do some epic storytelling at breakneck speed for a dedicated audience of inmates. This includes a fair few stripy outfits and even a duo at the front in brand new white hoodies, awaiting some fresh blood splats! 

I’m loving the colour coordinated black and white Santa hats the band are wearing emblazoned with “Bah Humbug” and soon get an insight into their twisted minds. They get started with ‘Imago’ from their debut album “Metamorphosis”, released back in 2020 and we see the usual characters take to the stage. Not wishing to spoil the story but Mother is soon shot dead, and the crowd go wild for the atmospheric ‘Burn the Witch’ as her body is shoved into a bin and set alight. We then jump ahead about 20 songs in the narrative as main protagonist Psychoberrie explains, well she explains having to jump forward due to the short set… but then back in character explains about her time in the Whittingham Asylum for killing her abusive mother, before we return to the next scene where she tells us she has persuaded a man to kill for her own pleasure, adding “well it is Christmas”. A woman is brought on stage and disembowelled but it’s all good as Psychoberrie reaches inside and pulls out handfuls of candy canes and chocolate coins and throws them into the crowd. Guts galore! 

While all this is going on (with a few meat cleavers and lots of fake blood) there is an epic soundtrack to accompany the show, this culminates in the simply wonderful ‘Toybox’ with their now traditional circus pit. There are a few puzzled faces, but most people join in, and I step back slightly when it gets rather rowdy. Psychoberrie then takes out her chainsaw and kills the band off, one by one, bringing their set to a close. I don’t want it to be over but alas it is. If you have yet to see the spectacle of Ward XVI this is your instruction to do so (and check out their cover of Skindred’s ‘Saying It Now’). With a recent Crowdfunder to support their new album, I cannot wait to see what comes next. 

Lawnmower Deth, meanwhile, bring their irreverent self-deprecating attitude to the stage and over 30 years on, still drag their crowd with them, Santa dancing and moshing all the way. They land on stage saying it’s been a while Manchester, and while I haven’t come far, I am here with people who have travelled the length of the country to see this show and are enjoying every moment. For me I am unsure what to expect, but I know it will be an experience. 

Not surprisingly for a thrash metal band that formed in 1987, the crowd is… shall we say slightly more mature and while there was a good mix of male to female for Ward XVI, suddenly it is a packed-out sea of men. The crowd are bemused from the outset when vocalist Qualcast "Koffee Perkulator" Mutilator aka Pete Lee fucks up by announcing the wrong song only one song into the very long setlist (long because some of the songs are literally seconds long). 

Mixed in with old classics like ‘Egg Sandwich’ and ‘Spook Perv Happenings in the Snooker Hall’ are a clutch of tracks from their first studio album for 29 years “Blunt Cutters” which was released last year. These include ‘Good Morning Phil’ and new fan favourite ‘Swarfega’, but I think the highlight of the night for me was ‘Raise Your Snails’, when we are all urged to raise a fist on one hand and then our horns on the other… and well you can probably figure out the rest. Much fun! 

There are special costumed guest appearances from Dr Hell and Count Gravedigga from Evil Scarecrow, while Psychoberrie is also spotted launching herself into the crowd; many moshpits ensue throughout the remainder of the night. There is even time for Pete and bassist Chris to swap roles, albeit for one of Lawnmowers traditional eighteen second opera (plural of opus) and the night would not be complete without a special rendition of Shakin Steven’s ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’. The night passes by in what feels like a blink of an eye and I’m not entirely sure what I’ve just witnessed, but a good time was had by all.

Christmas is not always jolly for everyone. If you do struggle at this time of year, you may find these Christmas Coping Tips useful.

Check the “In The Flesh” page for more photos!
Lawnmower Deth, Ward XVI, Solitary